Family
When treatment ends, families are often not prepared for the fact that recovery takes time. Recovery usually takes much longer than treatment did. This can lead to disappointment, worry and frustration for everyone involved. Families may need help to deal with the changes and keep the “new” family going.
Some survivors say they would not have been able to get through treatment without the support of family members and their help. But, when treatment ends, you may still need support and receive less than you hoped. At other times, you may have expected more support than family members were giving during treatment. If they disappointed you, you may continue to feel angry or frustrated with them.
When treatment ends, you may have problems with your family. For instance, if you used do a large portion of the housework before treatment, you may find these tasks too tiresome now. Yet, family members may want to get back to their normal routine and expect you to return to your duties. You may feel that you are no longer getting the support you need.
You may still need to depend on others during this time even though you want to get back to the role you had in your family before. At the same time, your family had to make adjustments as well. And although they are glad you are no longer in treatment and on the road to recovery, they are now trying the get used to another “new” normal. All of these feelings and concerns may be hard to express.
What You Can Do
Some family members may have trouble adjusting to changes or feel that their needs are not being met. You may consider getting help from a counselor or therapist. Most important is to communicate and be honest with your family members.
- Let others know what you are able to do as you heal – and what you are NOT able to do. For example, tell them if you no longer can maintain the yard in order or keep up with all the laundry.
- Give yourself time. You and your family may be able to adjust over time to the changes that cancer brings. Being open with each other can help ensure that each person’s needs are being met.
- Help the children in your family understand that you were treated for cancer and that it may take a while for you to have the energy you used to have.
- Spending extra time with children rather than on chores and household duties will let them know they are your number one priority.
With your permission, other family members should also be open with your children about your cancer and its treatment.
Workplace
Research shows that cancer survivors who continue to work are as productive on the job as other workers. Returning to work can help them feel they are getting back to the life they had before being diagnosed with cancer.
Some cancer survivors decide to change jobs after cancer treatment. If you decide to look for new work after cancer treatment, remember that you do not need to try to do more – or settle for less – than you are able to handle.
Whether returning to their old jobs or beginning new ones, some survivors are treated unfairly when they return to the workplace. Employers and employees have doubts about cancer survivors’ ability to work.
What You Can Do
- Decide how the problem should be handled.
o What are your rights as an employee?
o Are you willing to take action as an employee?
o Do you still want to work there? Or would you rather just look for another job?
- If possible, ask your employer to adjust to your needs.
o Start by talking informally with you supervisor about what your concerns are and if there are adjustments that could be made such as: flextime, working from home, or special work equipment.
o Document each request and the outcome for your needs.
- Get help with your employer if you need it.
o Ask your medical team for follow-up visits that do not conflict with your work responsibilities.
o Get your doctor to write a letter to your employer explaining how your cancer may affect your work schedule.
Friends and Coworkers
The response of friends, coworkers or people at school after your cancer treatment is just as individual as they are. Some may be a huge source of support, while others may be a source of frustration. They may mean well but do not know the right words to say and do not know how to offer support. Others just do not want to deal with cancer at all. As survivors sort out what matters most, they may even decide to let some casual friendships go, to give more time to the meaningful ones.
What You Can Do
How to relate to others after cancer treatment?
- Accept Help – When friends or family members offer to help, say yes, and have in mind something that they could do to make your life easier. This way, you will get the help you need and your loved ones will feel needed.
- Address any problems that come up when you go back to work – If problems with others get in the way of you work, you may want to talk with your supervisor.
- Keep up contacts during your recovery – Friends and coworkers will worry about you. If they find out about your treatment and progress, they will be less anxious.
- Plan what you will say about your cancer – There is no right way to deal with others about your illness, but you need to say something. The best approach is the one that feels right for you.
Following cancer and treatment, there may be problems with practical day-to-day life activities. Some issues begin during treatment and continue after treatment is completed. Others can surface after treatment is completed.
The following are examples:
- Difficulty working due to emotional or physical aftereffects
- Problems getting health or life insurance coverage
- Financial stressors
- Employment discrimination
